Yasu
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Posts: 105
Power Level: 6398
Effort Points: 15,904
Reputation: 5
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Post by Yasu on Jul 24, 2021 5:27:53 GMT -8
DEATH THREADS
The attacker removes an over garment, such as a coat, and tosses it towards their foe, however using normal yarn or string is possible. They then fire a beam of magic or energy at it and force it to break down into energized threads that lash out at the opponent's body in the same manner as a whip would.
Type: (Energy, Ranged, Single) Action: Standard Action Base Damage: 3d10 Base Damage Major Effect: Slashing Minor Effect: Wounding Cost: 15 Ki Learn: Two Weeks
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Post by Cayle Pota on Jul 28, 2021 14:58:25 GMT -8
For a physical ranged single you need the 'projectile' minor effect in addition to wounding, which will bring your total cost to 17 Ki. If you want it to run off of Yasu's fighting and not his energy control (which changing it to projectile will do) then it needs to be made a Physical Melee Single, or given the fact you literally use the word /energy/ three times in the description, it actually probably needs to be an Energy Ranged Single.
Also in the future, please don't include the effects in the description of your technique, both because you wounding has a potential to wound, it is not automatic - and the same is true of many status effects, but also it needs to explain 'how' it's wounding; though describing the status effects in your technique aren't even strictly required.
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Yasu
Full Member
Posts: 105
Power Level: 6398
Effort Points: 15,904
Reputation: 5
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Post by Yasu on Jul 31, 2021 12:03:00 GMT -8
Edits have been made to the above technique to allow it to be acceptable. I am changing the Major Effect of the technique to slashing yet turning it into an energy, ranged, single move as suggested.
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Post by Cayle Pota on Jul 31, 2021 15:03:01 GMT -8
I'd suggest just mentioning throwing yarn or something because this can be used again and again (as opposed to a finisher) and I doubt the user is wearing 5 or six jackets. But beyond that, this is statistically sound so approved.
And for the record, it wasn't 'denied' when I gave you a review. That was a review. You didn't need to reapply for it to be graded, just reply to the thread or PM me when you were done editting it as you wished based on my review.
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